BlogAmy

Suffer the little children...

At 6:35 PM, Everett Joseph was born. About 2 hours later, he died. I watched both the birth and the death of this precious little baby. I have never in my life experienced anything so beautiful and so horrible. He was less than a pound. He was 10 inches long. He had beautiful long fingers. He was a beautiful little boy.

I struggle with the "why". My good friends, John & Denise, lost Marie just 3 years ago. She was nearly full term, but she had a hole in her heart. They knew for two weeks that Marie wasn't going to make it, and they had time to prepare before they induced labor and delivered their stillborn child. But this time, everything was fine. Every test came out perfect. They picked out a name, and then after she was past 20 weeks, they told everyone the good news. Last week, they bought the crib and set it up. Yesterday, she was fine. Today, I watched a life that was formed by God in the womb be taken away. I saw the little innocent that God had known since before conception. God already knew EJ (yeah, they were gonna call him EJ). Today, I held Denise's hand as she screamed at God and asked him why He took her babies. She asked me why. I couldn't answer her.

Our incredible pastor came to be with them as they said goodbye to EJ. He said the most beautiful, loving words. He cared for them as only our pastor can. He grieved with them. He committed that little soul to God and asked Jesus to care for him. Thank you, dear friend, for being there for them... and for me.

I missed Lisa's final graduation dinner. She's graduating in the top 10 of her class, so she got to choose a teacher that she considers a hero, and they honored those teachers at the dinner tonight. I missed being with my child, but I was able to hold my friend's hand as she let go of her own child. I called the kids when I got home from the hospital to tell them how thankful I was for them... how thankful I am that they're healthy... and how proud I am of them -- something Denise will never be able to do with Marie and EJ. Thank you, God, for my children. I love them so. Thank you, Michael, for standing in for both of us. Michael was alseep when I got home, so I just climbed into bed, held him for a few seconds and he squeezed my hand... it was enough to know "I'm here, honey." Of course, it was also enough to know, "honey, I've gotta get back to sleep!" It was good enough for me.

Tomorrow, Denise will go home to the empty crib and empty nursery that she so desperately wanted to fill with her little one. But waiting for her there is her beautiful son, Garrett, who is happy, healthy, and full of life. He was so looking forward to a little brother, but he's young and he'll be OK. He has such a tender spirit, and I'm sure he'll sense his mother's sadness and will love and cuddle her until her sad heart becomes glad again. God bless you, Garrett.

Jesus, You enjoyed children here on earth. You got upset with your friends for not letting the children come and play with you. You scolded them because you wanted the children to come to be with you. Take EJ into your loving arms... hold him... care for him... give him the body to run and play with his sister, Marie. And scoop them up in your arms, just like I always picture when I read that scripture. Giggling... laughing... running around your feet and trying to get you to pick them up. Blessing them. Take care of EJ. Bless him.

Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not. For such is the kingdom of God.